Surgery update

Hello Dear Followers,

It's been a few days and my head has cleared from the loopy drugs enough to put words in a coherent order :) Actually it wasn't that bad, however, I did NOT sign any important papers while taking said drugs nor did I drive anything but my dogs crazy (when they want to play and you have just enough energy to fill up your water bottle) But they too will survive!

I want to thank you all for praying! From the start of surgery day to the end all went great! If you can say that about having surgery. 

The two procedures: Marking the lumpectomy site and marking the lymph node went as planned and since I was done earlier than expected they bumped up my surgery 2 hours. THIS NEVER HAPPENS!!! The doctor said everything went fine and I should know the pathology results soon. I'm still trusting GOD for there to be no more cancer!

I woke up Monday morning with the phrase "the Joy of the Lord is My Strength" then when Mindy picked me up she prayed we would have lots of laughter. I had many opportunities to share love, joy and laughter throughout the day. From hugs for nurses and 80 yo candy stripers to jokes about all the wonderful jewelry and fancy clothing I was privileged to wear. And who can forget the dance party in the elevator! The giggles, jokes and laughs made the hunger pangs seem like nothing... actually that's a lie! I was so hunger and no one would come to my aid. Some people!

Divine appointments came as well, Just mentioning Jesus' name or prayer opened doors for talking about Jesus. I even got one of the tech guys to play Christian music while he mapped my node. :0) 

I was home mid afternoon and tried and tried to sleep but it would not happen. So Mindy and I watched TV and chatted and I had dinner YUM. Thinking I would sleep all night I "took two and call me in the morning" pills. I did sleep some but not soundly. Which is really weird for me because strong pain meds usually knock me out. But Tuesday and last night I slept really well and napped too. :) 

I'm actually feeling really good today. Of course the pain from surgery is still there but I'm up and about and plan to take the kids to a movie today. I'm sure I'll need a nap after that but it will be good to get out. 

That's all for now. I should know today (I think) about the pathology results and I'll follow up in a couple of weeks with the surgeon to check my healing. Then in a month I'll start radiation. 

*Things for which  I'm thankful:

**My kids are home. I think that may have been part of the reason I didn't sleep. <3 font="">

***Friends who stay with me, bring meals (delicious!), pray, call and text! I love you all and I'm so thankful God brought us together!

****My doctors and nurses who expertly cared for me.

Fully Trusting Him,
Karla

Good News and A Longer Day

I'm starting off with things I'm thankful for:

   Scripture! It's always been my lifeline and this week is no exception. See below what God's been teaching me.
   
   My appts went well and I was even able to take my mom to here 1 year follow up from two knee replacements. All is good with her and she doesn't need to go back for 4 years!
  
   The kids are doing well even though we've had a few rough moments this week. I think we're all tired of waiting for this to get started and definitely can't wait for it to be over.

   For the MANY, MANY people here and around the world who are praying for me. I feel it and I'm humbled.

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It's been a tough week. Appointments and kids and parents all needing my attention and there were several days I didn't want to think about ANYTHING especially not cancer or being ready for Monday. It seemed that this week, a bunch of little details that needed my attention kept popping up. As soon as one was done there was another thing in the mail to do. Not know how I'm going to feel next week creates this sense of urgency to get it done!

BUT... our gracious God has reminded me over and over to seek Him first. In my Bible Study Group today, Matt Chandler was talking about Colossians 3:1-10. Set my mind on things above and then put to death what is earthly in you. For so long, my pattern has been backward. This was a fresh perspective on an age old problem for me. "Do away with the bad and then focus on the godly" Well, that's not God's prescription for putting to death what is earthly in me. He says to seek the things of God and set my mind there. Then the earthly ways in me, the worry, short temper, need to control, selfishness will diminish. The old Hymn Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus has a chorus that rings true...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

I can Fully Trust Him to keep His promises. And the promise I'm clinging to right now is that though my earthly self is struggling with parenting, cancer, life right now, when I turn my eyes to Him they fall away. Now they don't GO away because even this afternoon they are very much still there. But my perspective soon becomes His. I can thank Him and praise Him for the trials because they keep me trusting Him for strength and peace. And HIS PEACE is way better, more fulfilling, more complete than anything this world has to offer. A peace that passes earthly understanding. Thank You JESUS!

Now on to details:

Tuesday's MRI was definitely an experience. I'd take a mammogram any day over an MRI. It's not one I'd like to repeat but I made it through. The good news is that the cancer isn't heading toward the nipple so I get to keep it! And that also means it's still a lumpectomy and nothing more. Answered prayer for sure! THANK YOU LORD! 

Radiation Oncology appt was very informative and it looks like I'll start the radiation process about 4 weeks after surgery. They will make a mold for me to lay on so I'm in the same position for every treatment and take a bunch of measurements to get the right settings and then a week later the treatments start. 5 days a week for 6 weeks puts me being finished just before New Years. 

I was on the phone quite a bit today with registration and pre-op stuff but I'm all ready to show up at 6:30 Monday morning for a 2:30 surgery. I know it's WAY TOO EARLY but there are two procedures to do beforehand and my original surgery time was bumped from 1pm. That just means someone is worse off than me and needed my slot. PRAISE JESUS!

Pray I really listen to my body and do what's best for me. I'm going to go one of two ways... Not move at all (which is not good) or do too much (which is really bad). I need to find a balance of getting around without over doing.

Pray the kids sleep well at their friend's house Sunday and Monday nights. That they can focus on school and not worry too much. That they will have understanding teachers if they need someone to talk to.

Pray for everyone I come in contact with Monday. I want to ooze Jesus and cause people to ask me why and be bold enough to share His love with them.

I love you all! Thanks for praying!

Fully Trusting Him,
Karla

Still on Track

I thought I'd give you a little update.

I have my MRI tomorrow, please pray I can hold still for the 30-60 min I'll be in the tube. I've had an MRI on my knee before but I was face up and feet first then. This time I'm going to be face down and head first. I'm not a stomach sleeper so this is going to be a challenge. Most likely uncomfortable but not un-doable :)

Wednesday I have my Radiation Oncologist Consultation to see what kind and how long of radiation I'll need. I get that this is the best treatment plan for my kind of cancer but really don't want to have it. So the least amount to do the best job.

This week is full of putting things in order and taking care of details so your prayers for good time management and clear thinking would be appreciated.

Surgery is still scheduled for Monday October 12th. I show up at 6am but surgery is at 1pm.

Things I'm thankful for:
My time away with my Texas girlfriends. This weekend was scheduled back in July before my diagnosis but God's timing for this getaway was perfect. I reconnected with dear friends, relaxed, laughed and was blessed.

My Sis-in-LOVE Jennifer for SPOILING my kids this weekend! I think we have enough sweets and toys in the house to last till Christmas!

My church! They have set up meals for me after surgery, signed me up for the card ministry that sends encouragement for cancer patients, and sent me multiple emails letting me know they are praying for me.

Mindy! She's going with me to my RadOnc appt AND taking me to the hospital for surgery AND spending the night with me!!! YOU ROCK!

My carpool Moms who've taken over carpool for the week of surgery.

God is still in control and I'm awed once again at His peace that has washed over me!

Love you all and thanks for praying!

Fully Trusting Him,
Karla

Roller Coaster

Ever since I found out about the cancer I've had the "normal" roller coaster ride of emotions. Telling Jehnie was really hard and we cried through most of it. But being at church and being prayed for over and over made me cry too but it is such an overwhelming blessing I don't think I can describe it. I continue to have a peace from God that supersedes any emotion I have. I know he's in control and He's going to use it for His glory some how. I believe I'm going to be ok, more than ok... better for it having happened! This past Sunday, Pastor Lance said something that struck a chord with me about the results of our church's Worship Prayer and Healing night. He said when we don't see God move the way we think or hope He would, it's not that He's saying NO. He's saying it's better for you to go through this than if I heal you.(paraphrased) It's really about my spiritual growth and becoming more like Jesus. That is far more important to Him than my physical healing. YIKES!!! That was HUGE to me! It gives me courage and hope and excitement! Let's see what God's gonna do!
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It amazes me how fast things move once a few referrals are made. By the end of the day Monday I have the major parts scheduled. I give specifics here cuz I've got some family that like the details ;) You know who you are ;)

EKG Thursday 10/1
MRI and labs Tuesday 10/6
Surgery and two prep procedures 10/12 I have to be at the hospital at 6 am but the surgery is scheduled for 1 pm!!! YIKES! I really don't like early mornings so pray for me HA!

The surgery is only about 45 min and it's out patient so I'll be home that evening.

I've already worked out carpool and childcare with the moms from school and I think I have my rides all figured out. And my sister is going to be there if my parents need something. God is so good!!!
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When we moved to Texas 13 years ago, God provided a group of women who became my family when my family was so far away. These ladies walked me through becoming a mom, a miscarriage, job loss, seminary, moving twice, another baby, Jim's death, real life stuff. I walked with them as well. That's what family does! I haven't seen them in over three years but that's going to change this weekend. We're having a reunion and the timing couldn't have been more perfect! I'm planning on soaking up love and relaxing for three days in preparation for the crazy journey ahead.

When I think about the people in my life, past and present, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the rich, deep friends God have given me in each season and place. Some have come and gone. But there are a handful who are still around no matter how many miles or years are between us. You know who you are and I love you!!!

Fully Trusting Him,
Karla

The next big thing

Who knew (God did) when I started this blog after Jim died that I'd ever  need it again? I figured this was the easiest way to get all the information out to my friends and family who want to know.
So... I have breast cancer. As far as cancers go... I picked a good one. :) Ductal Carcinoma InSitu (DCIS). It's the kind that is encapsulated in the duct and (as far as they know) CAN'T SPREAD!!!! YAY!!! And after meeting with the surgeon today I found out even more...

Here's what I know:
** can't break through the duct (apparently some can but since they don't know which ones will they treat all with a lumpectomy or mastectomy. my choice) I'm choosing a lumpectomy.

** it 6mm high grade (high grade means more likely to reoccur)

** they will take a sample from the lymph node to as a precaution and combined with the tumor will determine the stage of cancer.

** I will need radiation therapy so I will meet with a Radiation Oncologist to discuss what that looks like.

** I can choose to have a mastectomy but personally I think that's overkill considering the type of     cancer I have. Even though it was tempting to "get a whole new rack" as Suzzanne put it. HA!

** I will be having an MRI so the surgeon can get a clear picture and see exactly what we're dealing with and if it's going in one direction or another. If it's heading into the aereola that will need to be     removed. (that would be a bummer so pray it's not!)

** The surgery itself is outpatient and will only last about 45 min. My downtime will be about 2       weeks.

Things that have to happen before surgery:
MRI
EKG and blood work
ultrasound of the lymph nodes
insert a marker that leaves a wire sticking out (doesn't sound fun but its done the day of surgery)

I am very thankful for:

Mindy and Suzzanne who went with me to the appt and asked questions I hadn't even thought of and made me laugh. Mindy took notes so I wouldn't forget what they said! THEY WERE AWESOME!

My Surgeon (Christian Swanson) is a Christian with a wonderful bedside manner and a good sense of humor!

I have a patient navigator, named Marie, who got me an earlier appt and will guide me through this from the medical side.

I think I've covered everything but if you have a question please ask below.

LOVE YOU ALL!!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!!!
Fully Trusting Him,
Karla

New Normal

Today I turn 40. A big year birthday!!! Jim would have not doubt made it special and probably surprised me with some sort of party too. In anticipation of this day I made sure the kids knew I would be home to celebrate with them and I let Abby plan what and how the day would go...

I had a blast today!!! It was wonderful and I thought I would share a bit about it with you...

Woke up to Jimmy coming in for a cuddle before the official wake up time of 6:30am.

After a bit we shared a little conversation...

Me: Jimmy what day is it?
Jimmy: Wednesday (way to go preschool!)
Me: Well, what did you do last night with grandpa and Abby?
Jimmy: Bake a cake!!!
Me: Who was it for?
Jimmy: YOU!!!
Me: So what does that make today?
Jimmy: WEDNESDAY!!

You've gotta love a 3 year old! At breakfast Abby wanted me to open my gift which was a Willowtree girl with blue birds on her arms. Beautiful!!

After dropping the kids off at school I went for a massage (Abby H. you are fab!!!) and then showered and went to the chiropractor for an adjustment (since I was soooooo loose from the massage!)

Deb and I went out to lunch at a cute little place in Hebron (30 min away). There we found a thrift store and a few 'couldn't-live-without' treasures. Had lunch and then found a fabric/gift/coffee shop and had a pumpkin pie latte! YUM!

Came home and had time to go pick up Abby. We dressed up in fancy dresses and opened another gift and just hung out.

Then went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner and took the cake Abby and Grandpa had made with us. Shared the meal with Deb (bummer Loren had to work late) and came home. Got the kids to bed and started to finish my Bible Study when I got a call from Matthea (youth leader) he and a bunch of youth came to sing for me! What a wonderful way to end a great day!

All throughout the day, Abby and Jimmy kept wishing me a happy birthday. I was given a 40 tiara at my surprise party on Saturday which I proudly wore most of the day (until it hurt too much)!

My heart is full! Yet... there is still a spot that remains empty. Jim's love of making my birthday special was definitely missing today. I didn't cry or even really mourn it until the youth group was leaving. Then, with my heart as full as possible the empty spot begged to be noticed. I cried but only for a moment. Not because I didn't want to cry on my birthday but because I realized that my heart WAS full. Just knowing and remembering all the great birthdays with Jim was enough to put a smile back on my face. I am truly a blessed women!

I am taking a Bible Study/support group in Lincoln on Tuesday nights. It's called Grief Share and it's just what I need! It's affirming me in that I am moving along in my grief, slowly but surly one day at a time. Last night we talked about a 'new normal'. Life will never be the same because Jim isn't coming back. Things can't be the same so I am learning to adapt to my new normal. Today, celebrating my birthday in a fun but different way, was a new normal for me.

Thank you God for the constant reminder of Your presence in my life! You are guiding me in Your Truth and showing me everyday through Your Word and the people in my life that Your perfect plan for me is unfolding every moment of every day! You truly are worthy of my praise and devotion! Thank you for showing/providing/leading me in my new normal life.

Fully Trusting Him - Psalm 31:14

Karla

Philippians stepped on my toes (in a good way)

Okay Keith R this one's for you...

Phil 4:13 is a verse we all cling to when our own strength seems to be gone but do you realize the progression of the verses before that one that can get us to the place where we can say... 'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength'? God has shown me this over the past few days!!! His word is amazing as always!

v 4 rejoice always! then
v 6 be anxious for nothing but in prayer give thanks!
v 8 think on theses things is really only possible when we give thanks and rejoice first.
v11 contentment is attainable when we think on the right things, rejoice and give thanks!
v 13 and because I've learned to be content, think right, give thanks and rejoice I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!!!!!!!!

Just thought I'd share what God's teaching me today. Things here are going well. I have my good and bad days but overall we're adjusting. The kids going to school has helped and so has some help from my chiropractor.

I'll update on stuff later. But thanks for continuing to pray for us. God is an amazing God who is my constant guide and companion.

Love you all! Fully trusting Him,

Karla