New Normal

Today I turn 40. A big year birthday!!! Jim would have not doubt made it special and probably surprised me with some sort of party too. In anticipation of this day I made sure the kids knew I would be home to celebrate with them and I let Abby plan what and how the day would go...

I had a blast today!!! It was wonderful and I thought I would share a bit about it with you...

Woke up to Jimmy coming in for a cuddle before the official wake up time of 6:30am.

After a bit we shared a little conversation...

Me: Jimmy what day is it?
Jimmy: Wednesday (way to go preschool!)
Me: Well, what did you do last night with grandpa and Abby?
Jimmy: Bake a cake!!!
Me: Who was it for?
Jimmy: YOU!!!
Me: So what does that make today?
Jimmy: WEDNESDAY!!

You've gotta love a 3 year old! At breakfast Abby wanted me to open my gift which was a Willowtree girl with blue birds on her arms. Beautiful!!

After dropping the kids off at school I went for a massage (Abby H. you are fab!!!) and then showered and went to the chiropractor for an adjustment (since I was soooooo loose from the massage!)

Deb and I went out to lunch at a cute little place in Hebron (30 min away). There we found a thrift store and a few 'couldn't-live-without' treasures. Had lunch and then found a fabric/gift/coffee shop and had a pumpkin pie latte! YUM!

Came home and had time to go pick up Abby. We dressed up in fancy dresses and opened another gift and just hung out.

Then went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner and took the cake Abby and Grandpa had made with us. Shared the meal with Deb (bummer Loren had to work late) and came home. Got the kids to bed and started to finish my Bible Study when I got a call from Matthea (youth leader) he and a bunch of youth came to sing for me! What a wonderful way to end a great day!

All throughout the day, Abby and Jimmy kept wishing me a happy birthday. I was given a 40 tiara at my surprise party on Saturday which I proudly wore most of the day (until it hurt too much)!

My heart is full! Yet... there is still a spot that remains empty. Jim's love of making my birthday special was definitely missing today. I didn't cry or even really mourn it until the youth group was leaving. Then, with my heart as full as possible the empty spot begged to be noticed. I cried but only for a moment. Not because I didn't want to cry on my birthday but because I realized that my heart WAS full. Just knowing and remembering all the great birthdays with Jim was enough to put a smile back on my face. I am truly a blessed women!

I am taking a Bible Study/support group in Lincoln on Tuesday nights. It's called Grief Share and it's just what I need! It's affirming me in that I am moving along in my grief, slowly but surly one day at a time. Last night we talked about a 'new normal'. Life will never be the same because Jim isn't coming back. Things can't be the same so I am learning to adapt to my new normal. Today, celebrating my birthday in a fun but different way, was a new normal for me.

Thank you God for the constant reminder of Your presence in my life! You are guiding me in Your Truth and showing me everyday through Your Word and the people in my life that Your perfect plan for me is unfolding every moment of every day! You truly are worthy of my praise and devotion! Thank you for showing/providing/leading me in my new normal life.

Fully Trusting Him - Psalm 31:14

Karla

Philippians stepped on my toes (in a good way)

Okay Keith R this one's for you...

Phil 4:13 is a verse we all cling to when our own strength seems to be gone but do you realize the progression of the verses before that one that can get us to the place where we can say... 'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength'? God has shown me this over the past few days!!! His word is amazing as always!

v 4 rejoice always! then
v 6 be anxious for nothing but in prayer give thanks!
v 8 think on theses things is really only possible when we give thanks and rejoice first.
v11 contentment is attainable when we think on the right things, rejoice and give thanks!
v 13 and because I've learned to be content, think right, give thanks and rejoice I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!!!!!!!!

Just thought I'd share what God's teaching me today. Things here are going well. I have my good and bad days but overall we're adjusting. The kids going to school has helped and so has some help from my chiropractor.

I'll update on stuff later. But thanks for continuing to pray for us. God is an amazing God who is my constant guide and companion.

Love you all! Fully trusting Him,

Karla